Wednesday, October 26, 2005

In The End It's Going To Be OKAY

My phone rings, it is my child's first grade teacher.

Her: Your daughter had a very bad day
today.

Me: Oh no
Her: I told her, "I am going to call
your Mother and tell her about your poor behavior"

My Daughter: "It's okay, she use to have
a tough time in school too"


Told myself, 'don't bust out laughing until you hang up the phone, her teacher will NOT see the humor in that'.

Friday, October 21, 2005

A Horoscope Worth Repeating

Sagittarius: Let yourself be swept off your feet by someone who loves you.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A Noon'er

I love my Quiznos, I just do! I would tell you which one it is but then you would all rush down and ruin my perfect lunch time bubble.

Let me tell you why this is the 'Best Place On Earth' with ears and all. The people. The staff that runs this little shop are funny and witty and probably not legal. They are dressed in the latest grunge style or skater or punk, I am not even sure what style it is although I am sure featured in Rolling Stone ads.

We are worker bees, the drones. In our pods with our identifying corporate badges attached to our body. Yes, scan my forehead there may be some microchip implanted that can tell you my career path till retirement.

In we walk gabbing about the normal boring water cooler chit-chat, and ah-ha the light beams upon us, as the smart-ass ask what will it be today? As if we ever change our order. With a laugh and witty comeback he says, "yea but today it will cost double". So then we change our order.

Foiled again! They have successfully gotten us to try something new and without ever really thinking about it. It is delicious! He laughs and smirks all the way preparing some foreign sounding sandwich and sails it off into the oven.

The cashier, just as refreshing. Telling us we get some sort of beauty discount, which I think actually adds to our bill ?!? Another good laugh is had.

Our table is a bit messy, I grab the wash rag from behind the counter and state, "here I will clean up our table for you, don't want to bother you much". To which I get a unified, "you're hired" in reply.

We leave our Quiznos and return back to the hum-drum but with a smile.

More Step Aerobics for Me

I walk over to the counter to grab something and my adorable, darling, spirited (are you getting the hint that something bad is about to come?) charming, lovable daughter who is all of six years old shares her wisdom with me. She sweetly says, "Mom I like your butt how it shakes side to side as you walk, like boom boom chica chica." Then she proceeds to demonstrate for me what it looks like, the girl is swinging her little toosh from side to side for all she is worth.

My head titled to the side with that puzzled 'did she just say that' look on my face I say to her, "YEA well my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" to which we both laugh in a fit of giggles over.

Hey shake it if you got it!

Friday, October 14, 2005

A phrase you can't say without laughing

"old bitty"

Password Protected

In my past there is all sorts of tidbits to explain who I am, where I have been and what I have learned. Some lessons where great others hard as nails to get through to me. I have scrapbooked these moments in various forms of emails, notes, and even old sweatshirts. That is who I am.

I have walked forward and made new memories, kept new mementos and treasured new text messages. This is my holding bag, full of memory and feeling. I don't want to let go, and lose something of me.

So I protect it. Put it in the back corner of my closet, file it a non-descript folder, tuck it in between pages of a book. Storage.

In walks love, and all melts into the now of who I am. It is part, yet not forgotten, rather enjoyed for the lessons and growth of my past. I am walking forward with all that I am.

Little bits forward, sharing stories, open to being vulnerable. I am loving it, soaking it up. Even handing over the "key", and not worrying what happens when the door gets unlocked.

Then logic kicks in, and perhaps you shouldn't be so open. There is things that you might not share because of how they are read. Maybe a slight gate is okay and needed for general protection of one's sense of self.

To know me, is to know all parts. This is who I am. The person I am is not afraid of my closet, although I know it holds all sorts, and it isn't all what it is upon first look.

So my password remains, the one that is known. I am not changing now who I am - it is me. One who is just about being real, handing over the key without any reservations.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

From A Six Year Old

"These tights fit like a dream"

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

My Thoughts to Me

Easy does it
You don't have to try so hard
Sometimes just breathing is all you need
And the world around you moves continually forward

Enjoy it all
You don't have to miss a thing
It is all there right before you as an offering
Joy is a reward for just being you and being who you are

Expect more
You can take it all and ask for more
There is no limit to the great things you can do
Because when you reach further than you can, you accomplish things

Envision dreams
You can make your dreams reality
No need to filter or ask if it is possible
It is all possible, and you know it, to the core of who you are

Monday, October 10, 2005

Lyric of the Week

I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you

[Chorus:]
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
When I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain

Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain

When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me
It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see
That it's always good and when the flood is gone we still remain
Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling

[Chorus]

And when the night falls on our better days
And we're looking to the sky
For the winds to take us high above the plains
I know that we'll find better ways to look into the eye of the storms that will be calling
Forever we'll be falling

[Chorus]

-Clint Black

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

New Orleans Layoffs

That is today's headline news, the city cannot pay it's staff, so in effort to save itself they will layoff 3,000 non-essential employees.

How do we sit here as a nation with our checkbooks in a plus, and allow a city to just crumble at our feet? Do we do nothing? Do we even take notice?

How can we label 3,000 people as "non-essential", is not every job and every person's means to feed and take care of their family "essential"? So they are not in the front lines of police and firefighters personnel, but who is going to support that front line, who is going to be there when the paperwork needs to be handled, or calls to families need to be made?

I am disgusted that the Bush administration can find 5 billion dollars every month to support a war on Iraq, but yet we cannot help our very own? We cannot save our people? How is THAT possible?

Questions, all I have is questions
No answers no way of knowing
No solutions no leadership
Questions

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

On The Lighter Side

It is picture day today, and my little 1st grader looks fabulous. We spent all morning curling hair and picking out just the perfect outfit. We even practiced her cutest smile in the mirror, just to be sure.

As we drove off to school, with my little sister in the vehicle as well as my daughter I told them, "okay for pictures act like sweet adorable little girls" (pause) "even if you have to fake it".

My daughter erupted in a fit of giggles followed by the standard, "ahhh mom, you're silly", my little sister who is all of 12 just looked at me and gave the pre-teen eye roll, served with a side of 'you are so lame'.

I leaned into my daughter and whispered, "some people just don't get my jokes", she winked at me and said, "I do Mom, and I think you're funny".

Hey I got my kid's seal of approval, that is all I need.

I Should Have

When he told me that, sitting there that evening,
When I said all the wrong things and none of what I meant
I should have just said, "I am sorry she hurt you like that"
And just held him in my arms

Instead I wanted to say the things I had been holding in
For someone that would never listen to me
Someone long ago of my past
I took the time to say what I hadn't said in years

To many words, to much said, not listening
I really should listen more
And talk less
Really take in what is said

But deep down, you know the area where you keep secrets
It was hearing how much she hurt him
That gave me the opportunity to know him
And the chance to once again love in my life

I can't say that I am sorry she said that
Or that there is no repair to something like that
When you can't take back those words
Because they have cut so deep

I am however ....
Sorry for your hurt and your pain
Because you are wonderful
And no one should be cut like that
Especially someone so loving as you

Signed sincerely,
Me