Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I Proclaim

No longer a swear word: hell
Say it with me: hell
Slowly now: hell
And quickly: hell
Breathy phone sex like: hell
Pointless mind dribble: hell
Affectionate: hell
Just because: hell

By itself it is powerless and non-aggressive
Do not give it power by making it a verbal flick of pain
Making it dramatic and poignant
Only aids to the absurdity of forbearance

It is not even a concept by some religions
And a place by others
Like Idaho
Or Pensacola

It is a descriptive word
Or an adjective
A noun for sure
Not an accusation

Stop taking it personal
It isn't
It is you that is offended
By your limited scope

I myself like the way it sounds
And use it quite frequently
I am not offended
It is a place, a thing, a phrase

You give it power by your offense
Which offends me
Yes you
Offend me

There I said it

Monday, July 18, 2005

An Urban Farmer

Driving up in his SUV
Through oakley shades, looking at me
A push of a button slides open the garage
His castle to him, more than a mirage

To his field he must attend
Computer parts and programs begin
Upgrading and reformatting drives
With sparkle and excitement in his eyes

Sipping a latte he completes his day
Trimming herbs out of the garden in the window bay
A dash of oregano and a pinch of basil
A pizza with sun dried tomatoes in the oven sizzles

Tucking into the night in 400 count sheets
Another day he completes
Tomorrow forging on with new task
Solving challenges under his corporate mask

In the front doorway I stand
With my chai tea still warm in my hand
Watching my urban farmer drive away
Off to go slay the dragons on a Monday

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Acoustic Love

Remember that time, that one we laughed at till our sides ached
How you were just then with me in the middle of that moment
You never let go of really enjoying the second when I am me
And at times when I am too much you just smile at my ways

How do you keep finding patience for my endless crazy ideas
And the moods where you created "being a grill" to say it is alright
When the silent pauses are okay to allow me to collect my thoughts
A smile the next morning and suddenly everything is okay again

Letting me be the first, since her, when your heart was broke
Trying again without walls to which I couldn't cross
Open and unassuming you reached out your hand for mine
So we could dance the night away in each others arms

Trusting your everything to my care as we embark on McDs play land
Letting them grow and learn to be loving and caring like you
Not afraid to snuggle up in the middle of the park and whisper you love them
Providing my daughter with an image of a happy relationship for Mommy

There you are in a dimly lit room
With your heart in your hand
Strumming a melody of trust
Acoustic Love

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Hope You Are Reading

Better today
Better than yesterday
Better for the experience

This is what makes us who we are, the things we go through, the times when we really lean on those who love us. They may not know that what they do, or how they helped, and sometimes just knowing they are there is all we need. Never afraid to really show emotion or be real with that person, that is what a best friend is. I cannot express enough gratitude just for being you.

Thank you

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Her Advice

Easy smooth sailing into tomorrow
There you are when it starts to crumble
How everything changes overnight
Now nothing is the same as it was

Can't look forward, can't contemplate what if
Too much to think about today
Instead I let the world pick apart my day
And the pieces that fall I cry

I cry for all the wrong reasons
But it feels just and eases the worry
Could be all over nothing
But I won't find out

Don't ask questions that you don't want answered
That is what my Mother always says
She knows best
I don't ask

Maybe next month I won't have to wonder
And I will look back and laugh
At how silly I had become
How funny it all was

I don't ask
I won't ask

Late Night Ramblings


























Deep
Dark

Painfull tears
Painfull years

Lost innocence
Lost virginity
Lost vulnerability

Never look back
Never return to what was
Never begin new

They say first love cuts the deepest
They say time will heal your pain
They say third time is the charm

Who are "they" anyway?

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Breaking the barrier




















Electro-chemical responses conjuring a vivid stage of content.
The spectrum of deep conscious effort swirling within, eager to escape.
Swarms of raw impulses rush toward the wall.
Tempered by experience and fear the barrier keeps you safe and holds strong.

What was once a torrent of all the answers becomes a filtered pastel. pale. faded.

Fear.
The filter.
The barrier.
The one thing that prevents you from being real.