Thursday, June 23, 2005

Questions



Six years old not understanding social implications of asking the truth, turns to me with what is on her mind. "Do you have sex?" she ask, as she would ask what the weather is expected to be for the day. Me, just going along for the ride in her world, driving her to the next destination where she takes on her day to day task of exploration. Me, the one who believes the body is a beautiful thing and sharing that beauty is a human treat. I am not ashamed of my choices, I celebrate them. I do not hide under the don't ask don't tell policy of our grandparents. It is a wonderful thing to be able to enjoy and express to someone you care about.

But there her big brown eyes were looking to me for all these answers, and I say to her "yes". That is what I said, nothing more. She pauses and takes it in as if that was the first lick of an ice-cream cone on a hot summer day. Without missing a step in time, she ask, "With who?". My drive became a destination of completion, could I finish and drop her off before I had to finish answering this new line of inquisitions? The road was long, and I had just began the journey. I had to figure out a way to navigate through the years of questions that follow this one.

The belief system I want to pass to her is to always at the core of your being know that you have the truth. It is the basis for being real. It is all I can give her in this world. But here I was at the cross-roads of truth. I won't give her anything less then the truth, but I cannot give the full detailed answer to this question because it would effect more then just her and I, there was others to consider. I have to teach her to understand that the answer to that question may compromise someone else's ability to chose their own path and journey. I was facing the core element of truth, when is it too much?

Almost reaching the end point it was time to stand for what I thought was best. I turned to her and said, "That answer is my business, but I will tell you that your Daddy and I did have sex a long while ago and that is how we create our beautiful little girl, you".

Time will tell if I chose right.

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